This isn't meant to be funny so if your looking for humor it's not here, at least not intentionally. Boring I'm sure. But you have a boring life right, so sit back, listen and don't interrupt me or i'll feed your genitals to a rabid dog.
A lot has changed since my father's death. Death usually makes people feel as if time were suddenly precious, water going down an open drain, and they could not move quickly enough. But for me it was like time has packed its bags and left town.... as if everything will remain being put on hold though they may seem otherwise.
There are things that will always stay with you, daddy's death is one of them. It was the first time I have ever had to face my own immortality. At 19 I thought I were invincible.
What made matters worse is that my mama, being a chronic worrier and complainer, had to have someone to whom she can bitch about whatever is bothering her. My sister was bust grieving, my brother was always outdoors and so I had to sign up as a deaf statue for her unrelenting motormouth or else I'd have been a world-class felon in everybody's eyes. I'm not exaggerating, my mama speaks as if she'd been saving up the words for decades...and when my father died there was no point in interrupting her since all she talked of was the past and the things that could have been different but sadly they are not. At some point I felt I was cleaning some mess I didn't even participate in making which was the very same reason that made me feel guilty since I didn't stop it from happening.
That was more than 2 years ago which means life really goes on, Surprize Surprize, even if u think you deserve to have it paused. The thing, I'm glad it does go on...and opposite to my expectations, it actually took some good turns.
Moral of the story... Change is not all bad.
It is a tough old world, baby. If u r not bolted together u're gonna shake, rattle, & roll before u turn 30!
Sunday, September 03, 2006
I miss my dad.
posted by Veeeva at 9/03/2006 03:10:00 PM
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11 Comments:
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At 4:41 PM,
Chai-7aleeb -
At 6:42 PM,
Яαgιи Яαvєи -
Allah yer7amoh...
so my question: are all mothers like that when it comes to talking and complaining or just most of them? no offence intended of course, it's just that lately i'm not as patient with my mother as i should be and i pretend that i'm sleeping most of the time if she wants to talk....sometimes she wakes me up to talk!!! -
Well, I don't know what to say except that I was just thinking of the same today, change is not always that bad, I already wrote something this afternoon about the same idea, change doesn't mean the end, it is just a different plot you didn't know you would be writing...
Allah Yer7amo we yeghferlo insha2allah....
And well mums may bitch at times, but we used to be inside them and we used to kick, so don't make it a big deal.. Someday you may get to miss her so bad, I hope that day never comes but that is when you will wish for the bitching... -
At 4:53 AM,
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sweets.. may ALLAH bless his soul.. don't stop praying for him (ولد صالح يدعو له)
mammas.. :o) a big exclamation mark in my life..! why can't i bear her now when she did yesterday! i only refer this to my selfishness.. when she feels that am kinda grumble or bored.. she always tell me when u're a mama u'll feel .. i just panic from such words.. begad batr3b.. guess what.. am trying to teach myself being patient.. most of the times i just pretend that am litesing to her while she never stops the same complaints everytime.. i just look to her in the eye and kiss her hands.. i always tell her.. "mama i love u.. mama u r sweet.. enty 7elwa awy ana mosh 7elwa zayk leeh" u can't imagine such tiny words make her feel like a queen.. i can't really express bs i never knew i love my mama such way! -
despite seven years or more have passed since the death of my father, i still really miss him so much.. there were alot of things to learn from him..
how precious are the persons we lose, certainly after we lose them! this is because we are over-familiar with them.. i felt this in ur experience as well as i live in my own..
MAY GOD BLESS HIS SOUL AND BLESS YOUR FAMILY.