Good question, good question... Valid question; It seems more men are afraid of marriage then are afraid of a herd of stampeding pigs trampling their testicles into bloody pancakes. But why? Simple. Freedom.
Most men enjoy many freedoms far into a relationship. A man in a non-committed relationship still enjoys many guilty pleasures, such as a night out with the guys, and eating ice cream straight from the carton. Walking naked through the apartment, or the occasional allowance of rough anal sex. You know, innocent little freedoms that mean the world to them. Even when their significant other swears to them that these pleasures will not cease to be acceptable after marriage, in the back of the mans mind, he knows that there is a bigger risk of a wife saying “No” to something then a girlfriend. And a greater chance of the wife enforcing that mandate.
Really, to an extent, it’s hard to blame some of these men for being afraid. One of the big draws of marriage from a woman’s point of view is security. The knowledge that the man they’ve claimed is theirs, and will not be off without them doing something stupid. But to a man, that “security” is exactly what frightens them. The second that ring goes on his finger, he knows his days of living in a strip-club and soliciting prostitutes for blowjobs behind the 7-11 are over. He knows that his life must change, and even if that change is for the better, it can be scary.
“Wait, wait… you mean now that I’m married, I CAN’T keep fucking other women? Who came up with these rules?!?”
Obviously in some cases that may be over-stating the issues a bit, but the point remains; Marriage means an end to at least some of the behavioral patterns that they’ve become accustomed to. Why they’re frightened really isn’t that big a mystery. The bigger question is what you can do about. And really, I can’t help you much there. Unless you’re willing to put “After we’re married, I promise to still let you fuck me in the ass"” into a signed and notarized contract, it’s pretty hard to invalidate their concerns. Just let him know you love him, and hope that’s enough.
what men are really thinking
It is a tough old world, baby. If u r not bolted together u're gonna shake, rattle, & roll before u turn 30!
Monday, August 07, 2006
Why Are Men Afraid of Commitment ?
posted by Veeeva at 8/07/2006 11:39:00 PM
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12 Comments:
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At 12:27 AM,
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At 2:15 AM,
Яαgιи ЯαvєиHmm.. well, i am a man, but i wouldn't get married for a whole different reason :D
Women, at least most of them, are cunning and sneaky.. not to mention the fact that they're so into playing games. If i ever got married, it would be to someone who's far away as possible from the hint of being sneaky, from the idea of overrating stupid things and underrating critical matters. Besides, you can't generalize here because most Arab men get married just for the notion of 'I'm finally gonna have sex' and I guess its the same with women, that's why most Egyptian marriages arent happy ones.. cos five years into the marriage they realize they have two kids, they don't really know each other and they really dont give a fuck. Zaman kano beya3meloooha cos zaman everyone was kinda pure from the inside.. kan el zoog beyoqadder el zooga wel zooga beta7tarem zogha.. now ba2a with feminine rights and all that crap it all went down the drain.
Bottomline, I don't think it's anal sex that we fear losing. :D -
At 6:50 AM,
FreudianSlipIs it weird that i'm the one who's usually avoiding commitment? I'm the one who's always afraid of missing out on my single life where there are no responsibilities and oh so many pseudo-forbidden pleasures (i.e. swearing, having guy friends and being able to travel alone/with friends). The way i see it is, why would i give all of this up to live with a chauvinistic and insecure male? why?
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Sorry, i appreciate u still
but this post shoked me.. the topic is importamt i confess... but using some vocabulary wasn`t good from u... even if u copied this issue from anywhere...
we r muslims wala2... (i`m not going top say e7na shar2eyyeen w 3eeb w el klam el fady dah) but muslims... maybe alot of bad example showed up in the society .. but it`s not the base..
soeey again but if i didn`t care of u & respect u , i wouldn`t have said that -
On the other hand, don't u think that many girls think the same way, huh?
Many of them, and let us speak explicitly, are more hypocrate, they are afraid of committment and in the same way they shout loudly "We seek ibn el 7alal".. Ironically, they don't give a d to the persons who came in their own will and full mental capacity to marry them.. They just remember their full-autonomy when they marry! and hence they deal so neagtively in all affairs with the other party with "ishm'inaat" and disgust. They accuse thier poor hubbies of "playing around" while they just give them the execuse.. They seek cooperative and understanding men while they throw cooperation and understanding from the window when there is an opportunity..
In short, they say "Why should I link myself with a stu guy".. Believe it or not.. They seek freedom as well, but not the sexual one as many pple could think.. they just seek "feeling free" and "unengaged" to whoever ..
Marriage has seemed to be a "fareeda" for girls and should be performed as a duty, not as a "sonnel el 7ayat"!..Despite we all need to stabilize our lives and marry, i don't think that all people should marry as well as should have been dead!
All problems are to be solved if, and only if, the two parties have learned to treat the other as partners, in live, in love, and in sex as well, if the entity they compose has a certain degree of autonomy, if friendship and mutual respect have became da rule!
This explains why old marriages extended for decades, with people married for 60 years maybe.. -
At 3:55 PM,
hurricane_xIt's not about sex...
All girls can't understand one simple truth..
It's about us doing WHATEVER we want, WHENEVER we want, WHEREVER we want... and of course without the girl asking WHY !!!
These things may be silly and trivial, but we like them.
We may like watchin' a bloody movie on a night u may see it romantic,... I said "may".
We may just keep silent for 4 hours, and ofcourse don't ask why, cause the bloody answer is that we r thinking about "non of ur damn business things" !
Silly stuff,...huh,... but yet so precious :) -
mmmm
It is true that men are afriad of commitment, but it is also true that women are also afraid, especially women who have become relatively more independent.
women lose a lot when they get married in addition to the huge responsibilities (including cooking, cleaning, pregnancy and all) theat become on their shoulders, so it is not something easy for them either.
but when a man or a woman decide to get married they should both accept the idea that beng married is something different.
we have to realise that we have become two and later more than two, so we sure have to give up on some things that we like or things that we were used to doing before marriage in order to succeed, else we will not be happy and our partner wont be happy either.
we have to let go of our selfishness if we want to make a family of our own and have a NEW life. we have to bear each other's bad characters because we ourselves are not perfect.
Good luck for all men and women like.
Omg.,,tesada2y ana kont batooh 3shan ageelek,...wallahy..asly kont barou7 el blog el tany..lol.I was misled..!! lol
a7'eeran waslat le blog el =gamda Walla..!! :D
eh ba2a Mola7'es en men are afraid of commitment?! :D