To be a true asshole, you have to make people remember you and that's the very same reason you'd want to be one.
Now here's what to do..
1. Never respect anyone unless you're sure they could physically beat you up. This includes your own mother, police officers, teachers, the president and your boss.
2. Criticize everything, no matter how mundane or pointless it may be. Example: "These fries aren't very fucking crispy!"
3. Always cut people off, whether you're talking, driving, or having sex.
4. Flick cigarette butts at everything-all the time. Even if you don't smoke.
5. Call everyone you meet by the nickname "Chief." (Always roll your eyes when you say it.) For extra emphasis, roll your eyes, say "Chief" and flick a cigarette butt at the same time.
6. Always precede the word "man" with either "little," "Mr.," or "old." (Notice: This is especially useful when speaking to someone you know can not beat you up.)
7. Noogie every small child you meet until they cry--including newborn babies.
1 last thing: be be unusual all the time....esp. in verbal conflicts.
Having done that, Smile. You're officially an asshole
It is a tough old world, baby. If u r not bolted together u're gonna shake, rattle, & roll before u turn 30!
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Become an Asshole - 7 easy steps
posted by Veeeva at 8/26/2006 09:31:00 PM
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8 Comments:
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and u forgot something..
some of them really belittles everything u think , say, and do.. with cool blood.. dealing with u as if as u were a mad monkey.. saying in an artificial sarcasting : "ya salaaaaam"..
this bad habit is kept with them in every situation.. it seems like an addiction.. i suffered really from this. this is even worth if those guys are trying to give u an advice given that they lack culture, experience, and vision.. they think themselves the only smart guys and do not give themselves a room to think or to listen.. this what urges me to evade them as possible i can.. -
At 1:04 AM,
Polka Dotted
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